Goodbye, For Now

Standing in the cemetery watching the casket that I had helped carry being lowered into the ground I could not help but be struck by the gravity, grief and, yes, beauty of the moment. Today was an unusually cool day for May in Tulsa. There was an overcast sky, just enough to mute the sun but not enough to bring darkness. Just as the workers started to lower the casket into the earth a light mist started up and brought a chill to the air. If I was directing a moody film festival film I wouldn’t have changed the scene one bit.

I had many thoughts flash through my mind in the 10 minutes it actually took to have my grandfather interred. I thought of the funerals I had been to in my life and how I had not seen this before. I thought about how the Bible tells us that these bodies will go back into the dust we came from. I thought about my baptism and all the baptisms I had seen. I thought about those beautiful words, “buried with Christ in baptism, raised to walk in the newness of life”. I thought about the death of Christ, His burial, His resurrection and the fact that one day believers will see that resurrection ourselves. This was good. This was fitting. This was the reality of our earth and our sin. But this is not final. God’s grace is final, Jesus’ sacrifice is final.

Over the last few days I have watched my beloved grandma cope with the grief of losing her husband of 62 years. As I was seated in her dining room this evening watching her process everything the day had brought I had one thought running through my head. I may never have the opportunity to be married for more than 60 years, but I hope I can experience some of the love that they had for each other. The love and devotion between my grandparents was obvious to those around them. To people of our generation there may have been many things we did not understand about their relationship, but it was easy to see the affection.

Finally I am sitting here at my parents house sorting through the events of today and the last few days. It’s impossible to put into words what it feels like to sit here and realize all that has come about in the last five months. I have lost both of my granfathers, moved to a new job and seen untold change in my personal life. Christ is showing me that I must lean on Him, that through all of life’s trials and joys He is my constant.

So, when I think about my grandfather I think about the verses that came to mind months ago. To the verses that tell us what we, believers in Christ, will be singing to praise the Lord in His final act of redemption. I look forward to looking up at Jesus and singing these words, and doing it standing beside my Grandpa Lundin.

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.

Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready.

Revelation 19:6-7

Today I buried a grandfather for the second time in five months. We said goodbyes, but not for good.

Tags: death, family